Trigger warning: self-harm
You shook, your fingers pale as you dropped the small razor into the sink.
The color in your lips had faded, and you breathed heavily through your mouth, your head heavy. The edges of your vision blurred and blackened, but you struggled to stay upright. It was okay now. The blood felt good. This is what you wanted, this was good. It was okay.
The vague echo of a door closing sounded from somewhere in the house. You thought you heard your name. Maybe it was just your imagination.
Footsteps. You staggered to the side.
Your name again. This time for sure. You clutched the counter. The mirror mocked you, showed you your ashen face, the smears of red on your fingers.
Jinxx wrapped his arms around you just as you lost the last of your strength. You slumped to the floor, and he situated you in his lap. You could see his face, just barely. His eyes were wide, a feral look in them. Was he angry?
"(Name)! Shit! (Name), talk to me! Say something! Fuck!" He circled one arm around your shoulders and used the other to direct you to look at him. You head lulled, and the pain began to return, a dull throbbing beginning in your arms.
"I’m tired, Jinxx," you said quietly, trying to turn your head away. "I’m so tired…"
"No, no. (Name)!" Jinxx held your head fast, letting your rest on his knees as he dug around in his pocket. "(Name), talk to me! Don’t leave me! Please, (Name), I love you. God, I love you! Hello? Yes, I need an ambulance immediately. My girlfriend, she - (Name), look at me! Stay with me, (Name), I love you! - she’s bleeding out! Please hurry!"
You ears began to buzz and you lost the last bit of the conversation. Why was he doing this?
"(Name), please listen to me." Jinxx leaned down, cradling you and whispering softly in your ear as he stroked your hair. "(Name), I love you so much. Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me, God, I love you, please.” You felt a tear hit your face, and your eyes shot open. Your throat closed, and you suddenly felt the weight of life on you again.
Why did you do this? Why were you doing this to him? By hurting yourself, you were hurting the person who cared about your most.
"I’m sorry," you choked out. You eyes burned with tears. They dripped down your temple, sliding into your hair. You brought your hand up and wiped at them furiously, smears of blood crossing your cheeks. "I’m sorry."
"(Name), it’s okay. It’s okay. Help is on the way. Just stay with me. I love you. I love you."
He squeezed you tightly. “I love you.”
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(for ashleypurdy131313; written by moi, because I love you, I love you, I love you!)